Let's Cross Over

Six months or so ago, my husband began lobbying for an electronic reader, such as a Nook or Kindle. I protested, as I feared it would ruin the experience of reading for me. The sentimental part of me would surely resent the absence of the pleasant smell of newly printed paper, and the presence of creases and marks on my most loved titles. But, my husband countered with the convenience of the electronic reader, a whole library in one that travels easily and has an impressive battery life. He won. We bought a Nook, and in the months we've had it, I have found myself converted. My ADD personality loves that I can decide in one second I want a book, and instantly download it instead of having to run out to the nearest bookstore. And there is something gloriously lazy about just pushing a button to turn the page. I feel slightly traitorous to the world of print media, but I am definitely hooked on this new technology.

My most recent read was Shania Twain's biography "From This Moment On." It may sound on the surface like a book that might be simply a fluff piece lacking in depth or meaning. Delightfully, it is exactly the opposite. Shania Twain went through all sorts of childhood trauma (death, abuse, malnutrition) and adult trauma (betrayal, divorce, psychological blocks). She speaks candidly of these events and her failure in the moment to process them in a healthy manner. The breakup of her marriage resulted in a serious anxiety problem that led to the temporary loss of her singing voice. Shania had to work through the pain of her past, forgive those who had hurt her, and most of all forgive herself - in order to regain her singing voice and her life.

I can draw a lot of parallels between Twain's biography and the screen adaptation of the novel "Eat Pray Love" which is next on my reading list. I have heard from those who have read the book that the movie did not do it justice. I find the movie to be very uplifting and moving, but I am withholding final judgment until I've read the book. In "Eat Pray Love," Elizabeth Gilbert travels around the globe in the quest to find peace. She is only able to obtain that peace by forgiving herself, and instead of dwelling on those she's hurt, simply "love them, miss them, send them love and light every time you think of them, and then drop it." It's a hard lesson to learn, but an important one I think.

I have a very type A personality, and like most people I have endured failure and have regrets. I've hurt people, made mistakes, lost friends, and certainly haven't always been as good of a wife/daughter/sister/friend/human being as I should be. I've had to work through a lot of guilt over health problems I've had to fight, and the effects they've had on my loved ones. I've had to accept my own limitations, which given my stubborn nature has been a very difficult thing to do. I think that both "From This Moment On" and "Eat Pray Love" teach us that life is short, and we spend way too much of it being bogged down by the past, negative emotions, stress, and worry. My new resolution is to treat every day as a gift, have patience with myself for not being perfect while still working to improve my shortcomings, and be ever thankful for all the wonderful people and things that enrich my life. It is in this way that we can "cross over," (or as Elizabeth Gilbert would say, "attraversiamo") into a more enlightened state of being.